GUEST BOOK REVIEW: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig

I'm going to start posting guest book reviews from those select few people I know who read more than chick-lit. Not that that's an issue... just I'm not going to be your friend.

So, introducing John Lucas - pretentious reviewer extraordinaire and the source of many of the literary-related arguments in my household:


After been somewhat perturbed by Hannah’s request for a pretentious blog post from yours truly (such an inference regarding my personality almost made me choke on my breakfast, which incidentally consisted of quail eggs, half a smoked kipper and was pleasantly washed down with a fine port...don't you know) I decided to entertain Hannah’s request by choosing a novel with the word ‘zen’ in it, so to fulfil the pledge of pretention, to which I am now apparently bound.

Anyway, enough Tomfoolery: Robert M. Pirsig’s Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintenance is a brilliantly insightful and even- dare I say it- life-changing read. On the surface, it is a story following our narrator (Pirsig) and his son on a motorcycle journey across America, capturing the special and complex relationship which exists between the two. In addition to illustrating their increasingly strained bond, Pirsig regularly shifts the reader a number of decades into the past, when our narrator was, at least in his opinion, an entirely different individual altogether- reffered to as “Phaedrus”.

Pirsig’s account of this character is captivating, portraying a man gripped by intense motivation and a voracious thirst for knowledge. Phaedrus finds himself precariously balanced on the borders of genius and insanity, a mental state which he struggles, and ultimately fails to keep stabilised.

Studying oriental philosophy, rhetoric and engaging in a host of other academic pursuits, Pirsig brilliantly embeds his own philosophical, scientific and spiritual experiences into the heart of the text, retaining a strong sense of optimism, even in the darkest of places. While Pirsig’s insights prompt one to enter great speculation upon each meaningful gem, his captivating and beautifully poetic prose drags the reader back to the page, ensuring that when the book is finally layed down, many questions will still continue to bustle in one’s mind.

It would be unfair to suggest that this is a straightforward read, and while the language is very accessible, some of the philosophical arguments which Pirsig states may be viewed as rather weighty, especially by those not familiar with philosophical writing in general. However, I really feel it’s worth persevering through these brief moments of intellectual bombardment, as the book is greatly rewarding, and retains its humanity even in the densest of logical discourse.

Rating: 4 Kangaroos and half a dingo.

Pick up a copy right here:

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If you are interested in doing a guest review, please contact me at: assorted_chocolates@hotmail.com

BOOK REVIEW: Wuthering Heights

I don't think you can impartially review books without chucking in a couple of your favourites, and whilst this may be a cliché, DAMMIT, IT'S A GOOD BOOK.

If you've been put off reading this classic from it's frankly romanticised publicity, then you have it SO wrong. Wuthering Heights has got it all; incest, murder, necrophilia and ghosts to name but a few. There's even a scene where a little dog gets strung up to a tree. What more could you want?

WH follows the story of Cathy, a pompous, well-heeled young girl of about seven, who falls in love with the unnattractive and wholly unappealing stray that her father brings home; Heathcliff (effectively her step-brother, I told you it got messy). Cathy in her infinite wisdom decides not to marry Heathcliff (they're slightly older by this point) and heads off to marry the wet and weedy Edgar, who utterly adores her but is quite ridiculous.

Anyone who has ever titled Heathcliff as a romantic hero hasn't read this book. I'm not even joking - he's scarier than Dracula. And Noel Edmonds. Put together.


Heathcliff vows his revenge, tries to kill pretty much every other character, and then lots more happens, but I'm not going to tell you what because that's cheating. Basically, most people are murdered or die in horrible circumstances, there's some forced marriages, a bit of rape, a whole new generation and a few ghosts thrown in for good measure.


Literally, this novel is an anti-romance. It couldn't be more brutal. Buy and read it NOW, or Cathy will get you.

If I could, this would get 11 kangaroos out of five, but that's not mathematically possible.

Actually, hell, this is my blog. I'm giving it 11.


Here's a cheeky cheap copy:

BOOK REVIEW: Death and the Penguin by Andrey Kurkov

This is one of the darkest, mini tragi-comi masterpieces I have ever come across. Set in post-Communist Russia, protagonist Viktor and his pet penguin Misha (it's not as bizarre as it sounds. Well, it is, but it's endearing nonetheless) become entangled in a web of serious organised crime.

Kurkov's deadpan style immediately appeals, and his depiction of children (and penguins) is simply stunning. The Soviet cityscape is as bleak and stark as any Orwellian world, sucking you in to the absolute desolation, where the American Dollar is the only thing of strength.

Definitely the best book to come out of the modern-Ukraine in recent times...

Slightly too implausible to be billed as a genuine thriller - this gets a decent 4.2 Kangaroos(the 0.2 is made up of an ear).

Get your copy here:

BOOK REVIEW: The Hound of the Baskervilles - Arthur Conan Doyle

In a slightly better played hand by the English Literature department of Glos, we were given 'The Hound of the Baskervilles' to read for the second week of our Crime Fiction module.

Now, I first read this novel when I was about 10, and couldn't sleep for nights afterwards.
I have now read it for the second time at the age of 20, and still couldn't sleep (especially with any limbs hanging outside of the covers, you never know when a phosphorescent hound is going to come looking for a nibble of your toes).

I'm not of weak constitution, I can sit through most gore without flinching, but there is something in this book that genuinely did unsettle me. I might just be being a girl, but there you go.

The story is one of Conan Doyle's, and indeed, Sherlock Holmes' better known adventures, traversing the moors of... well... Dartmoor. Holmes' idiosyncrasies and eccentricities really come to light in this mystery - making him literature's steadfastly most loved detective.

When Holmes and Watson are accosted by a Doctor who is worried about what to say to his new guest, Henry, the recent beneficiary of 'murdered' Mr Charles Baskerville's estate. It is told that the Baskerville family have long been the victims of a supernatural curse, where a distant ancestor through his vile misdeeds unleashed a real 'hound of hell'. Many of the family have met their gruesome end in mysterious circumstances, sparking the interest of Holmes and his protege.

With a cast of bizarre characters, including a selection of enthusiasts of everything from butterflies to ancient skulls, this is without a doubt one of the most intelligently constructed crime novels I've ever read. And yanno', you've got to start with your classics...

This gets a rating of 4 kangaroos.

And no, the Butler didn't do it.

Buy yours here:

BOOK REVIEW: All My Friends Are Superheroes by Andrew Kaufman

Okay, so with the smooshiest 'holiday' looming imminently, I felt it was only right to review a 'romance' novel. Now, for those of you who know me, romance isn't really my forte, so I'm slightly limited for choice on this one.

However, if I could pass one law, it wouldn't be that people could never wear bandannas, or that cauliflower should be banned in every sense; it would be that instead of sending valentines cards, everyone should send a copy of this book to everyone that they love. (I mean that in the sense of partners, parents and best-friends, not serial polygamists. You should be buying counselling, not books).

This book is one of the most spectacularly charming things I have ever read, even as an English Literature student (not that that counts for much; they make us read Medieval plays - there's nothing charming about them...) and at only 108 pages long, you can zoom through it before your kettle's even boiled.

This is the story of Tom, and his wife 'The Perfectionist' - a superhero whose power does what it says on the tin. At their wedding, a jealous ex of The Perfectionist puts a curse on Tom... and I'm not going to tell you any more because the unravelling of this story is purely magical. With characters such as Hypno, The Clock and The Broken Heart, you might be forgiven for thinking that this is simply fantastical - but I can guarantee that every single hero will relate to somebody in your life. After all, everyone's a hero (especially me).

So if you're stuck for something to send this Valentine's Day, look no further.

And you know what? I'll even let you take the credit for this one.

Purchase for a loved one here:

Macs are for schmucks.

And I count myself amongst them.
Really I just wanted to use the word 'schmuck' in a post. It's an entirely under-used lexeme and I shall continue to use it on every necessary occasion (and probably some unnecessary ones too).

BASICALLY. I have a MacBook. And an iPhone. And a variety of iPods. Not gonna lie, I think they make me cooler. Like smoking. Smoking makes you cool. (NO IT DOESN'T, DON'T SMOKE).

But yeah. Aside from the obvious sleek sleek design, MacBooks (and Apple products on the whole) are mightily reliable. I've had this particular MacBook for about 4 years now and I have never never ever never had a problem with it.

Until now.

After being forced to watch Glee with my headphones in by my boyfriend who is avidly against listening to second-hand showchoir, my headphone jack is now permanently stuck. So my laptop thinks that I ALWAYS have headphones in.

E.g. No sound output.

Marvellous.

I took it to the genius bar and met a lovely man called David who poked at it and blew compressed air into it and shoved a cocktail stick into it... and it's still broken.

SO lovely internets, any suggestions? Because I'm not paying the £400 'hardware issue' cost thank you very much...